Today after school I had a doctor's appointment for my scalp. I have psoriasis, which is a skin disease, kind of like dandruff on steroids. It only affects my scalp. I can keep it pretty much under control with medication, but it's always very much THERE. I can't let it go a couple of days without treating it or else you REALLY notice it. And my head always itches. I've just gotten used to it. Anyway, but lately my hair has been falling out. People said stress, lack of sleep, poor nutrition, all of which apply. Hell, It's my senior year. But the doctor asked how much I ate, I said I took vitamins and ate whole grains and had 1200-1500 calories a day. He flipped out and told my mom I might have an eating disorder. What the hell? Having an eating disorder is when I only ate 500 calories a day and no one said anything. When my hair started falling out, I bumped it back up to at least 1000, sometimes 15-1600 on the weekends. That is NOT unreasonable. Hell, my other doctor told me to eat 1200 calories, max of 1500 if I wanted to lose weight. That pissed me off. Pissed me off.
It ticks me off when people say "gasp you're not eating! do you have an eating disorder? you count calories! do you have an eating disorder? you're not eating fried food and trans fats! do you have an eating disorder?" Hell FRICKING no!
You can eat RIGHT and not starve yourself. You can strip all the fatty foods from your diet and not be a freak. I can eat cereal and bread and bananas and be o-kay. JESUS people.

In other news, they took lots of blood and I cried a lot. That was weird itself because 1) shots and needles and blood don't bother me and 2) i don't like "displays of weakness." I sound so primeval, but I just don't. I get mad at sick people. As if they have any control over being sick. I get mad at myself when I'm sick. I get mad at myself when I cry for myself. How selfish. Anyway, I boohoo'd the entire time. And all the way home. They don't know what's wrong with me. Two of my friends say it's because I'm not eating, which, again, pisses me off. blaaaahhhhhh i fucking eat. please read this. i fucking eat.
anyway. I guess i'm just that vain. This is one of the most traumatizing experiences I've ever had--- losing my hair. I cry about it quite a bit.
I was riding home with Kate tonight from a law seminar. It was extra credit for english if we went. And I enjoyed riding with her. I enjoyed laughing at her stories.
Other people's stories are so amazing. I love hearing them. My life is nowhere near as exciting, but it's good enough for me.
I just hope it turns out okay.
I like hearing stories.