why people who used to be ( i say used to be, they still are actually, superficially, it just shows how much my opinions have changed) my friends piss me off now in such little, absurd, inane ways.
1. The thing I hate about you is your insecurity. And you can't even hide it like the rest of us, and you can't seem to publicize it like others. If you can't make your weakness your strength, or at least not so much of a liability, then you frustrate me. Take self-deprecation in stride. Take jibes in stride. You can't take anything in stride. Why are you so insecure?


here's a tidbit about me. yeah, i'll tell you i hate myself. i hate the way i look, i hate a lot of the things i do. but really, when it gets on down to the nitty gritty, i think i'm a damn fine person. i compare myself to way too high of standards all the time, but really, i know i'm a good person, i know i'm talented, i know i'm relatively intelligent, i know i can get almost anything i want because I've just been blessed with all this stuff. I'm not attributing any of it to my own doing, it's all God, for real, man, you won't hear me be openly religious a lot, but this is the crux: i like myself, i'm happy, mostly cause of my faith.




2. The thing I hate about you is your denial! Your denial! Your God-Damned DENIAL. It's even funnier because you'd probably admit to having stuff wrong with you, but you don't believe yourself. You're still convinced that because you're different, because you're wild, because you're living the way you are that you are special. Get over it honey. Being a freak doesn't make you special. Being constantly angsty doesn't endear you to anyone except your undercover emo friends.

I hate cookiecutter people. I like people who deviate. But i dislike deviation for the sake of deviation. So contrary. So shallow. It's the worst kind of non-religious hypocracy. and if you hold yourself as a god and your life as your faith, then you constantly damn yourself to hell, and it's kind of funny because you hate your life so much, and you don't know why.



3. I hate your suppression. Your suppression of yourself. You never let go. You envy me. I know you do. It's not vanity, but I know you envy me. Not all the time. A lot of the time you think i'm revolting and inane and you wonder why I get the things you want without putting forth the effort you do.
I don't know why it happens that way.

But stop pretending to not be mad.
Stop pretending that you don't care.


4. I hate that you fear me. I'm mean and I have no patience to/for people who make stupid comments. i make stupid comments too, but people rarely call me out. But if I remark on yours, you backtrack, say you're sorry, ha ha. If you're mean to me, and I say that you are, you make excuses and say it was all a misunderstanding and hate me when I'm not looking.

I don't understand this.
You don't need me.
Don't cultivate my favor while trying to hurt me.

I don't understand it.
I'm not someone whose favor needs to be cultivated anyway.
I have no posse, i have no in crowd, i have no influence, i have no power.

You know what I do? I dream until the time I can leave high school. I dream of all the things I could do. You're nowhere in my dreams. I talk a lot to fill the time.
What is your problem?

That's all for now.